Things That Taste Like Dirt

…for lack of a better, kinder, considerably less accurate title.

Had big plans for the post today–yesiree. But as it would happen, there was some baaad juju going on in this kitchen today, and the results were pretty sick…possibly even…lethal.

I blame it on that lunar eclipse thing a few weeks back.

See, my idea was to simply whip up a batch of the most scrumptious whole wheat tortillas in the universe and show you all about it and have the entire United States applaud and accept an award from the Pillsbury Bake Off people and get a call from the Culinary School in France, and be crowned queen of earth by the end of the week. Easy.

Sadly, it was not to be. Dang cosmos.

I first tasted fresh pressed and baked whole wheat tortillas one glorious evening when my good friend Sherel was teaching a class on them. I wasn’t actually in the class, just passing by—but the incredible, delectable aroma grabbed me by the collar and yanked me right into the kitchen, like a starving puppy…and yes, I begged her for one. Quite an embarrassing episode, I’ll admit, but I was hooked and decided then and there to make them myself and achieve the aforementioned goals…along with world peace.

Too bad I forgot to take a copy of the recipe. Duh. But seriously, how hard could it be? I mean they’re tortillas for Pete’s sake. But what I discovered, was that, without the right recipe, ok, ok, and a little skill–bad things can happen…really bad things…

like this…

and this…


all of which would be just fine, if they tasted anything like Sheryl’s Whole Wheat Tortillas…worth it, even. But nooOOoo…they did not. In fact, they reminded me of a day a few years back, where dirt was also on the menu. Blaugh.

But be brave my dear friends–I’ll be back with the real Whole Wheat Tortillas any minute now…

after I call Sherel…

and clear out the juju in the cosmos.

10 Replies to “Things That Taste Like Dirt”

  1. A second opinion is always good. πŸ˜•
    I was hoping that with some heat…and time…and prayer…
    they would, ummm…season a bit. But they just tasted like older dirt.

    rasa frasen noodle slappin…

  2. NO MORE LATE POSTS! The last time that happened you were in the hospital or something and besides it blows my morning schedule. (Ya I probably need therapy or something.) But the last 5 min of laughter truly made up for it so all is forgiven. And yes, I’ll be waiting for the good recipe because to date I have never tasted a whole wheat tortilla that didn’t taste like dirt and I’ve tried several vendors – and that’s from a gal who has whole wheat going at her family from several directions, you should try my whole wheat brownie recipe – they are the best.

  3. Ok, ok–lemme ‘splain. I actually DID publish the post as usual, with one tiny exception. The date was mysteriously typed in as December 2009. Yee-ah. So, if you missed that, it’s because it was in the archives! HA!
    I need more sleep…

  4. It’s really too bad. They looked okay enough and I really was hoping they were the same as hers. Sheryl’s were SO good.

  5. I love homemade tortillas! I learned to make them long ago. They can be so tasty! I have never made whole wheat ones, sooooo, when you get the recipe, pass it along so that I can actually make dinner. Thanks in advance!!!! I can’t believe you posted about a flop! He he he, I think it bears testimony to the need for a recipe before you try and make something new!! Gotta love it!!

  6. I love that you posted about something that didn’t work… it makes me feel like I’m NOT the only person on the planet that screws stuff up. πŸ˜‰

    I love tortillas, but I don’t know if I’ve ever even eaten a wheat one. Not home made, that’s for sure. It’ll be cool if you find a really great recipe someday! πŸ™‚

  7. We totally did this same thing just this week! I thought it wouldn’t be difficult, found a recipe, and switched out the flour for my fresh-milled. Your pics look like they could have come from my kitchen!!! I’ll be waiting for your updated, successful recipe, so that I can copy it! =)

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