Author: Launi

…for lack of a better, kinder, considerably less accurate title.

Had big plans for the post today–yesiree. But as it would happen, there was some baaad juju going on in this kitchen today, and the results were pretty sick…possibly even…lethal.

I blame it on that lunar eclipse thing a few weeks back.

See, my idea was to simply whip up a batch of the most scrumptious whole wheat tortillas in the universe and show you all about it and have the entire United States applaud and accept an award from the Pillsbury Bake Off people and get a call from the Culinary School in France, and be crowned queen of earth by the end of the week. Easy.

Sadly, it was not to be. Dang cosmos.

I first tasted fresh pressed and baked whole wheat tortillas one glorious evening when my good friend Sherel was teaching a class on them. I wasn’t actually in the class, just passing by—but the incredible, delectable aroma grabbed me by the collar and yanked me right into the kitchen, like a starving puppy…and yes, I begged her for one. Quite an embarrassing episode, I’ll admit, but I was hooked and decided then and there to make them myself and achieve the aforementioned goals…along with world peace.

Too bad I forgot to take a copy of the recipe. Duh. But seriously, how hard could it be? I mean they’re tortillas for Pete’s sake. But what I discovered, was that, without the right recipe, ok, ok, and a little skill–bad things can happen…really bad things…

like this…

and this…

and..well..this…

all of which would be just fine, if they tasted anything like Sheryl’s Whole Wheat Tortillas…worth it, even. But nooOOoo…they did not. In fact, they reminded me of a day a few years back, where dirt was also on the menu. Blaugh.

But be brave my dear friends–I’ll be back with the real Whole Wheat Tortillas any minute now…

after I call Sherel…

and clear out the juju in the cosmos.