food, crochet, merriment
People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.
– Salma Hayek
So, let’s pretend that you have somewhere to go…
and you’ve offered–like always to “make some cookies.” Usually no problem, but what if there’s not much time, or it’s too hot to turn on the oven or you just plain don’t want to? Here’s an easy solution.
Take a package of chocolate covered graham crackers and set them out on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper. Now, warm up a hand full of white chocolate discs–I had pink ones from awhile back–any color will work.
Take a fork and drizzle it over, across or all through the unsuspecting cookies. The first ones will likely be uglier than heck because it may take a minute to figure out what you’re trying to do. Don’t worry about those ones. You can eat them later when no one’s looking.
Once you’ve got the hang of it and they start looking really cute, pop the whole pan in the freezer. It won’t take long–maybe 15 minutes–to set. Lift them off the wax paper and set them on a pretty little plate and go!
Tell everyone you slaved all day over a hot stove. Once again, you’ll be worshiped as a Goddess.
That’s the goal.
Wait…let me re-spell that to read–CAT TAIL. CAT tail. Danger…Danger!
I know what you’re thinking, Chompy—but look the other way. Remember that bad-guy kitty?
Resist the urge. Fight it. Fight it. This is the evil Beany we’re talking about. Run. Hide.
Don’t do it—DON’T do it! You are playing with a certified Dog Slayer here.
Oh man…little baby. That was close.
You were nearly lunch.
——————————–
Almost as sweet as baby fingers.
No–come back! I’m well aware that these sound odd–but trust me…they’re really gooood.
First we watched the guy on the Food Channel visit a place that is famous for Deep Fried Pickles. We had kind of a “PICK-les? Fried? Yack!” reaction at first. I didn’t think for a second that they even sounded good, but then we watched the guy make them. Looked easy enough. Simple, even.
Then they talked to the the customers and they were just crazy about these things. They ranted and raved. They sang. They danced–all in the praises of these silly pickles.
One lady said, and I’m paraphrasing now, “We drove ten thousand miles…bla, bla…in a blizzard…bla, bla…for one taste…bla, bla, of Snarky Joe’s Deep Fried Pickles.” Sappy? Yes, but the idea was working on me now.
Then one dark and stormy night when I was already making fried chicken, I thought to myself, “there’s the flour coating…there’s the pickles…”
One thing led to another, and here’s what we came up with.
1-1/2 cups buttermilk
3/4 cup pickle slices
1-1/2 cups of flour
1 pouch Ranch Dressing Mix
1 Tablespoon Montreal Steak Seasoning
1/4 tsp. salt
Oil for frying
Stick with me…
Pour the buttermilk in a bowl. Pat the pickles dry with a paper towel then stir them into the buttermilk.
Let them sit while you make the coating. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl and heat oil in a sauce pan. Take the pickles a few at a time from the buttermilk and toss them around in the flour mixture.
Right about here, you may say, “Hey, where are the pictures?” But I’d say back, “YOU try to toss pickles in flour coating and fry them with one hand and take pictures of the process with the other.”
Best way I know of to lose a couple of digits and fry a cute little camera.
Drop them in the deep fryer for about 3 minutes or until they float to the top and turn golden brown. Drain them on paper towels and repeat for all the pickles you intend to eat…until the flour runs out.
These make a great side dish when you are in the mood for something unusual–or when you are already making fried chicken…or if it’s a dark and stormy night.
Whatever.
So, how would it be…
to be little again and to find something as simple as poking an empty hot dog bun with a fork—
to be so dang funny—so hilarious even, that you couldn’t stop laughing…
no matter where you were or who was watching or how much sense it did or did not make,
because the laughter was coming from so, so, so deep down in your guts, that you couldn’t stop if you had to?
But you don’t have to, baby—
so keep on, Mr. Giggleface.
Remember laughter–
and life will always, always be good.
