Feeling particularly mushy today.
Not sure what it’s about entirely, but the fact that my dad passed away–one year ago- this month–may have something to do with it.
My father lived almost ten years after my mother died, and yet, when he left, it made her–my sweet mama–so much more…gone.
It felt like they both floated away on the same morning.
Oh, I know where they are, and I know they are safe and happy and together. And I know that we’ll all be with them again, someday.
That’s not it.
The thing is, I’m a tactile soul–I need to smush and grab and hold and pat and squeeze and nuzzle and pinch and lean on…and touch.
I’d like to touch my daddy’s whiskery face again…
…and hold my mama’s feathery-soft hands…one more time.
That is how things stay real to me.
This world–my world–is a funny, foreign place without Andrew Kirby in it.
It’s like, without his physical presence–his twinkly smile, his enormous hands, his healing, engulfing arms around me–a bright light dims.
But I realize now, that it’s the same light I used, to see my mother by, when she wasn’t here anymore.
I just wasn’t finished with them yet.
I miss them so much.
Makes the Millennium sound really good, right now–you know?
*****
“One Moment More”
Hold me
Even though I know you’re leaving
And show me
All the reasons you would stay
It’s just enough to feel your breath on mine
To warm my soul and ease my mind
You’ve got to hold me and show me now
Give me
Just one part of you to cling to
And keep me
Everywhere you are
It’s just enough to steal my heart and run
And fade out with the falling sun
Oh, please don’t go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You’ve got to hold me and keep me
Tell me that someday you’ll be returning
And maybe
Maybe I’ll believe
It’s just enough to see a shooting star
To know you’re never really far
It’s just enough to see a shooting star
To know you’re never really gone
Oh, please don’t go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
Oh, please don’t go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You’ve got to hold me and maybe I’ll believe
So hold me
Even though I know you’re leaving