So many choices…so little time. What’s a Cheetos lover to do?
We decided to have a taste test to discover the winner for the “Very Best Cheetos in the World” contest.
In the running were…
Contestant #1
Regular Cheetos
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Contestant #2
Crunchy Cheetos
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Contestant #3
Twisted Puff Cheetos
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Contestant #4
Crunchy Mozzarella Cheetos
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Contestant #5
Fiery Hot Cheetos
Sorry, I don’t have a picture of the bag, because it melted through the table and kitchen floor and is no doubt on it’s way to the center of the Earth…or Hades…
and rightly so.
Next, we gathered the troops and force fed them the different styles of Cheetos and gave everyone a ballot.
Here is what we came up with…
#1– Regular Puffs–which in my unbiased opinion, are the only true Cheetos on the face of the Earth–received exactly 1 vote for 1st place. Everyone else thought it should be in 3rd or 4th place. The heathens.
#2– Crunchy–received 5 votes for 1st place even though they are deep fried and very, very bad for you, and 1 vote for 4th place.
#3 –Twisted Puffs–received 1 vote for 2nd place because they were really spongy and cheesy and good and 1 vote for 3rd place and 5 votes for 4th place, because my family doesn’t really understand the connection between puffy Cheetos and true unadulterated wisdom.
#4– Mozzarella –received 1 vote for 3rd place and 3 votes for 4th place and 1 vote for 5th place because they didn’t really taste like anything. It was weird.
#5– Fiery –received 6 votes for last place, because they were hot and nasty and deserve a cold and watery grave, except they also got 1 vote for 3rd place because Jacob’s singed tongue lava meter is all screwed up. He actually liked them.
So, as you can clearly see, Cheetos PUFFS are by far the best Cheetos in the land–even if more people actually voted for the crunchy ones.
It’s my test, and I can cheat if I want to…cheat if I want to…cheat if I want to.
(No animals were harmed in the making of this taste test…well, except for Beany who tried to eat #5 and caused a 3 alarm fire in his throat. But he’s fine now and his tongue has almost grown back.)