Category: Food

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Fresh Cucumbers

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If you have ten billion cucumbers at your place—like some folks do this time of year—maybe you’d love an easy way to enjoy them–and to get your kids to do the same.

cucumber

Start by peeling them like a potato. Now, I’m all for getting all the nutrients out of everything by leaving the peel on, but this is a fun bit of diversion from the norm. Compost the peels if you need to feel better about not leaving them on. That should help.

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Next, pour about a teaspoon of salt onto the cucumber and rub it into the outside–gets rid of the bitter taste.

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Cut the cute little veggie in quarters–long ways.

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Slice or scoop out the seeds.

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Rinse off the salt and any remaining seeds.

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Slice them into cubes before some ridiculous bald kid comes along and makes you start all over.

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Chomp, Baby Chompy.

Heh.

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Deep Chocolate Ice Cream

What is “Deep Chocolate Ice Cream” you say?

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It’s the kind of chocolate ice cream that people eat in slow, deliberate silence. It’s the kind of chocolate ice cream that makes peoples’ eyes flutter–just a bit–like they are sinking into some kind of trance. It’s the kind of chocolate ice cream that will make you run right out and get an ice cream freezer for yourself–if you haven’t already.

Oh, you can come to my place and taste some of ours—but I’ll warn you—beyond a heaping spoonful, we don’t share so good.

Just read the ingredients and see if they don’t send you shopping, at a sprint…of your own free will.

Deep Chocolate Ice Cream

Ingredients:

3 cups whipping cream

1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa

1- 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

2 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped

4 large egg yolks

1-1/2 cup white sugar

Directions:

In a small saucepan gradually whisk together the whipped cream and cocoa powder until it is smooth.  Place over medium-high heat and bring the mixture to the scalding point (the milk begins to foam up). Remove from heat. Add the chopped chocolate and stir until the chocolate has completely melted.

Meanwhile in a stainless steel bowl beat the egg yolks and sugar until light and fluffy. Gradually pour the hot  mixture into the whipped egg yolk mixture, making sure you keep beating so the eggs don’t curdle.

Place the bowl over a saucepan of simmering water and, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, cook until the custard thickens enough that it coats the back of a spoon.

Immediately remove the custard from the heat and continue to stir the custard for a few minutes so it does not overcook. At this point stir in the vanilla extract. Cover and let cool to room temperature and then refrigerate the custard until it is completely cold–preferably overnight.

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Transfer the cold custard to the container of your ice cream machine and process according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

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Once made, transfer the ice cream to a chilled container and store in the freezer for a few hours or for as long as you can stand it.

Take it out when no one is around.

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Hide somewhere.

Make sure you have a big spoon.


Deep Chocolate Ice Cream
 
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Ingredients
  • 3 cups whipping cream
  • ⅓ cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa
  • 1- ½ teaspoons pure vanilla extract
  • 2 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
  • 4 large egg yolks
  • 1-1/2 cup white sugar
Instructions
  1. In a small saucepan gradually whisk together the whipped cream and cocoa powder until it is smooth.
  2. Place over medium-high heat and bring the mixture to the scalding point (the milk begins to foam up).
  3. Remove from heat.
  4. Add the chopped chocolate and stir until the chocolate has completely melted.
  5. Meanwhile in a stainless steel bowl beat the egg yolks and sugar until light and fluffy.
  6. Gradually pour the hot mixture into the whipped egg yolk mixture, making sure you keep beating so the eggs don't curdle.
  7. Place the bowl over a saucepan of simmering water and, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, cook until the custard thickens enough that it coats the back of a spoon.
  8. Immediately remove the custard from the heat and continue to stir the custard for a few minutes so it does not overcook. At this point stir in the vanilla extract.
  9. Cover and let cool to room temperature and then refrigerate the custard until it is completely cold--preferably overnight.

 

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Quick and Fancy

So, let’s pretend that you have somewhere to go…

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and you’ve offered–like always to “make some cookies.” Usually no problem, but what if there’s not much time, or it’s too hot to turn on the oven or you just plain don’t want to? Here’s an easy solution.

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Take a package of chocolate covered graham crackers and set them out on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper.  Now, warm up a hand full of white chocolate discs–I had pink ones from awhile back–any color will work.

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Take a fork and drizzle it over, across or all through the unsuspecting cookies. The first ones will likely be uglier than heck because it may take a minute to figure out what you’re trying to do. Don’t worry about those ones. You can eat them later when no one’s looking.

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Once you’ve got the hang of it and they start looking really cute, pop the whole pan in the freezer. It won’t take long–maybe 15 minutes–to set. Lift them off the wax paper and set them on a pretty little plate and go!

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Tell everyone you slaved all day over a hot stove. Once again, you’ll be worshiped as a Goddess.

That’s the goal.

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Fried Pickles

No–come back! I’m well aware that these sound odd–but trust me…they’re really gooood.

First we watched the guy on the Food Channel visit a place that is famous for Deep Fried Pickles. We had kind of a “PICK-les? Fried? Yack!” reaction at first. I didn’t think for a second that they even sounded good, but then we watched the guy make them. Looked easy enough. Simple, even.

Then they talked to the the customers and they were just crazy about these things. They ranted and raved. They sang. They danced–all in the praises of these silly pickles.

One lady said, and I’m paraphrasing now, “We drove ten thousand miles…bla, bla…in a blizzard…bla, bla…for one taste…bla, bla, of Snarky Joe’s Deep Fried Pickles.” Sappy? Yes, but the idea was working on me now.

Then one dark and stormy night when I was already making fried chicken, I thought to myself, “there’s the flour coating…there’s the pickles…”

One thing led to another, and here’s what we came up with.

Deep Fried Pickles

Ingredients

1-1/2 cups buttermilk

3/4 cup pickle slices

1-1/2 cups of flour

1 pouch Ranch Dressing Mix

1 Tablespoon Montreal Steak Seasoning

1/4 tsp. salt

Oil for frying

Directions:

Stick with me…

Pour the buttermilk in a bowl. Pat the pickles dry with a paper towel then stir them into the buttermilk.

Let them sit while you make the coating. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl and heat oil in a sauce pan. Take the pickles a few at a time from the buttermilk and toss them around in the flour mixture.

Right about here, you may say, “Hey, where are the pictures?” But I’d say back, “YOU try to toss pickles in flour coating and fry them with one hand and take pictures of the process with the other.”

Best way I know of to lose a couple of digits and fry a cute little camera.

Drop them in the deep fryer for about 3 minutes or until they float to the top and turn golden brown. Drain them on paper towels and repeat for all the pickles you intend to eat…until the flour runs out.

These make a great side dish when you are in the mood for something unusual–or when you are already making fried chicken…or if it’s a dark and stormy night.

Whatever.


Fried Pickles
 
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Ingredients
  • 1-1/2 cups buttermilk
  • ¾ cup pickle slices
  • 1-1/2 cups of flour
  • 1 pouch Ranch Dressing Mix
  • 1 Tablespoon Montreal Steak Seasoning
  • ¼ tsp. salt
  • Oil for frying
Instructions
  1. Pour the buttermilk in a bowl.
  2. Pat the pickles dry with a paper towel then stir them into the buttermilk. Let them sit while you make the coating.
  3. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl and heat oil in a sauce pan. Take the pickles a few at a time from the buttermilk and toss them around in the flour mixture.
  4. Drop them in the deep fryer for about 3 minutes or until they float to the top and turn golden brown.
  5. Drain them on paper towels and repeat for all the pickles you intend to eat...until the flour runs out.

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Perfect Peach Ice Cream

Look out now.

Oh, baby…

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Before we begin, if you don’t already have one of these–fix that grandiose faux paux (dreadful oversight) and run right out to Target and get one…

Go!

We’ll wait…

Are you back?

Good…

Now then–after you have followed the directions below—

put all the ingredients in the ice cream freezer…

close it all up and surround it with tons of ice and a bit of rock salt, plug it in and freeze the heck out of it. When is slows down and stalls, run very, very quickly and turn it off…

before someone else beats you to it.

You don’t want to miss this.

Remove the paddle and try with all your might to scrape all of it back into the freezer…

most of it back into the freezer…

some of it back into the freezer…

Ok, ok…just hold it over the sink and lick it all off.

No one will know…and you won’t be sorry.

Creamy. Frosty. Peachy.

Sublime.

You’ll need to wipe your chin.

Perfect Peach Sherbet

Ingredients

1- 6 oz. package Peach jello

2 cups sugar

4 cups water

2 cans diced peaches (29 oz)

2 cups peach syrup

2 cup whipping cream

Directions

Boil water; add Jello and allow to cool. Add sugar, syrup, peaches and cream. Mix and freeze in ice cream freezer until slightly firm.  Remove paddle and replace lid. Store in large freezer about 2 hours before serving.

 

Perfect Peach Sherbet
 
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Ingredients
  • 1- 6 oz. package Peach jello
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 4 cups water
  • 2 cans diced peaches (29 oz)
  • 2 cups peach syrup
  • 2 cup whipping cream
Instructions
  1. Boil water; add Jello and allow to cool.
  2. Add sugar, syrup, peaches and cream.
  3. Mix and freeze in ice cream freezer until slightly firm.
  4. Remove paddle and replace lid.
  5. Store in large freezer about 2 hours before serving.

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Week 22 Food Storage Prompt: 1 can tuna, 4 cans Tomato Soup, 10 lbs. sugar