That One Chick #14
Beware. I have some bad news. You don’t know me as well as you think you do. You see…
I’m not the mild-mannered quirky blogger you think I am. In fact, I’m what you could call…
a hardened criminal.
In my short little life, I’ve actually…
taken a hostage,
broken some guy’s nose and…
shot an innocent man.
Oh, it gets worse.
I…
brace yourself…
have even…
killed.
Not just once, but several times.
And worst of all–I’m not a bit sorry and it is quite likely that I’ll do it again.
I told you it was bad.
Allow me to explain.
A few years back–I was a writer…of children’s books. It was positively the most magical occupation I could ever have imagined. One of the things I loved most about it is that you can tell whatever kind of story you want—you can make up anything and there are very few rules. Now and then…on the rare occasion, there is even a therapeutic outlet for some…ahhhh….how should I say this—
venting.
Even, perhaps an easy place to poke a playful jab at a beloved friend.
Now, I didn’t do it very often, but I will confess, there have been a few times. I’ve used the very names and places, true life stories and people–just carefully wrapping them up in a great bit of historical fiction. My neighbors, friends and family have become pioneers, sea captains, foreign immigrants, trolley drivers, galley cooks and…even bad guys.
One time I used half of the neighborhood and had one real tough guy accidentally shot. Don’t worry, he was just grazed–but oh, did he whine! In the book anyway. That was the best part! The only real time I got seriously mean was when a lady I knew was needlessly unkind to one of my kids. Yeah–don’t do that. She ended up straying from the wagon train, and…
the wolves got her.
Not my fault.
She should’a stayed put like she was told.
So, when I’m in the mood to get back into this writing thing again–oh, I will–you better be reeallly nice to me or things could get…interesting.
If you’re not very careful–
you could end up being turned into an ugly troll or a wicked witch…or a llama…
for all eternity.
Hee hee hee.
