Mightier Than the Sword

That One Chick #14

Beware. I have some bad news. You don’t know me as well as you think you do. You see…

I’m not the mild-mannered quirky blogger you think I am. In fact, I’m what you could call…

a hardened criminal.

In my short little life, I’ve actually…

taken a hostage,

broken some guy’s nose and…

shot an innocent man.

Oh, it gets worse.

I…

brace yourself…

have even…

killed.

Not just once, but several times.

And worst of all–I’m not a bit sorry and it is quite likely that I’ll do it again.

I told you it was bad.

Allow me to explain.

A few years back–I was a writer…of children’s books. It was positively the most magical occupation I could ever have imagined. One of the things I loved most about it is that you can tell whatever kind of story you want—you can make up anything and there are very few rules. Now and then…on the rare occasion, there is even aΒ  therapeutic outlet for some…ahhhh….how should I say this—

venting.

Even, perhaps an easy place to poke a playful jab at a beloved friend.

Now, I didn’t do it very often, but I will confess, there have been a few times. I’ve used the very names and places, true life stories and people–just carefully wrapping them up in a great bit of historical fiction. My neighbors, friends and family have become pioneers, sea captains, foreign immigrants, trolley drivers, galley cooks and…even bad guys.

One time I used half of the neighborhood and had one real tough guy accidentally shot. Don’t worry, he was just grazed–but oh, did he whine! In the book anyway. That was the best part! The only real time I got seriously mean was when a lady I knew was needlessly unkind to one of my kids. Yeah–don’t do that. She ended up straying from the wagon train, and…

the wolves got her.

Not my fault.

She should’a stayed put like she was told.

So, when I’m in the mood to get back into this writing thing again–oh, I will–you better be reeallly nice to me or things could get…interesting.

If you’re not very careful–

you could end up being turned into an ugly troll or a wicked witch…or a llama…

for all eternity.

hee hee hee

32 Replies to “Mightier Than the Sword”

  1. Liked what I read. Quite epic.

    If you get back to the writing thing, be sure to make a fuss about it so we can follow your new crimes. πŸ™‚

  2. As your teen-age daughter at the time of those books, I’m surprised in some ways that I made it out unscathed! πŸ˜‰ Ha ha ha! You’re a great writer and I’m with Drekey… I’d love to make a fuss over the new stuff you do! Blogs are awesome, but books are great too! πŸ˜‰

  3. Ha ha ha… oh… Arkham. That’s freaking funny!!!

    She’ll have to change her address… forward to Launi of Gracious Rain… care of The Elizabeth Arkham Institute for the Criminally Insane! πŸ˜‰

  4. Yeah? Well–plenty of time to write in that place, eh? Let’s see…I haven’t actually used YOUR name in a book, now have I?
    Hmmmmmm…..

    (insert evil laughter here)

  5. WOW! That is so cool πŸ™‚ My dream is to get published (ok I had an essay published in a knitting book) but I want to publish some of my writing (fiction) any advice???

  6. Just checking back and noticed that my message from this morning did not go through so I just wanted to repost. What a great entry/post today. Please keep us posted and let us know if you pick the pen back up again. We always love to read books by others that we know in some way. Have you ever written children’s books or would you consider now that you have some adorable grandbabies???

  7. The most valuable piece of advice I ever received in regards to writing was to find a credible critique group and attend it faithfully. They will give you input and insight that you can’t get any other way. Plus it gives you a good reason to work at your writing–if you know you have to read it to the group this week.

  8. Middle grade children’s books are the only thing I have ever written. Oh, a picture book or two perhaps, but they aren’t published.
    I’m just not very interested in writing for adults.

  9. Scared me into being your friend… πŸ˜› WHATEVER! I like you and I am NOT your friend out of fear. If you want the story to go that way to add intrigue to the book my Mom needs to write, then I MIGHT consider backing you up… for the books sake! πŸ˜‰ Ha ha ha!!!

  10. That’s awesome, I’d love to read your books (I read a little about them on one of your daughters’ blogs.) That’s a major dream to get my stuff published, any tips or advice? πŸ™‚ Love your blog! I discovered it from my Aunt Susette’s blog, then Kali’s. πŸ™‚

  11. I totally remember reading your books!
    i can’t remember what they were called…
    but i vaguely remember one involving a girl taking a ship going across the ocean?
    or am i going crazy?

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